Saturday, April 5, 2014

five years - angus dylan

Dear Angus,

Yesterday you turned five.  When you were four, I would hold you in my arms and ask you to please stop growing.  You said you would stop.  "Do you promise?" I'd ask.  You would promise to me that you would stop.

Watching you turn five makes me a proud mama.  You are supposed to grow and learn so much and I can't ask you to stop that.  I may miss my Angy at one, two, three, and four, but I will be so proud as the years goes by when I stare at your beautiful brown hair and eyes.  I will stare in awe of all the knowledge you acquire each passing year.

Today, you celebrated with family and friends at grandma Tricia's house.  You could not wait to invite all of  your very own friends from school.  Most were there. You played and jumped and ran and ate and greeted and thanked.  It was a perfect birthday for a most sweet boy. 

Tonight, in bed, we were talking.  You said you wished it hadn't been your birthday because you didn't want to be five.  My heart sunk for a moment wondering why you said that.  You said you wanted to continue being four.  I think you thought that you were going to change from one day to the next. You are not too fond of change.  I reassured you that being five would be ok.

"Can you ask God something?" you said.
"Yes, what do want me to ask him?"
"Can you ask God if I can be one again?" 
"Angy, it's going to be so much fun being five, but why do you want to be one again?"
"Because I was a baby and you used to hold me all the time."
"Aww, papa, I can still hold you and hug you a lot.  That doesn't change," I said as I hugged and kissed you.
"But I'm almost ten.  Then I'm going to be 100."
"That's a long, long time away" I said.  "Look at brother, he turned five and he has done so much fun stuff.  How about you give five a try?"
"Okay," you said,  wiping a tear from your eye. 

No matter how much you grow I will always love you.  No matter how big you get, I will hug you and hold you because you are always my baby.   Age can never change that.  There is no need to worry. 

You are right where you are supposed to be.  I can't ask you to stop.  This conversation proves to me how much you have grown already.  I am already in awe of your little mind and how it works, physically,  emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.  I can't wait to see more.

Five will be great, my sweet boy, you will love it.


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