conversations with angus

Angus and I were talking in the car, while on our way to pick up Jonas at school.
Angus: Are thpiders nice?
Me: Some spiders are nice. Some are not.
Angus: Mom, I killed a thlug. (In a low, sad voice)
Me: You did. Why did you hurt it?
Angus: I don't know. I just did it.
Me: We'll, next time you see one lets be nice to it. Ok?
Angus: Ok, I won't do it again.

~~~

Me: angus, go ask Jonas if he wants ice cream, too?
Angus: (looks at me strangely) you said ice cream two, its ice cream one.

~~~

Angus woke up with a hoarse voice yesterday.
Me: what's wrong with your voice?
Angus: zombies got me last night and they did something to it.
Me: why did they do that to you?
Angus: because zombies are bad.
Me: oh, I see.

after school

Jonas' class was a little late coming out after school. When he got in the car I asked him what they were doing.

He started cracking up. Something funny was happening, and I didn't get the joke, but it was nice to see him laughing so hard.

today

:angus was a Lego making machine. we were working on building a wipeout obstacle course. he was being very creative with his Lego building skills.

:paloma kept wrecking our creations. as soon as we finished one, she would be there to kick it or pull it apart. our troublesome truck likes all the attention.

 :i washed, dried and folded three loads of clothes. next, putting it all way. the tough part.

:it was Monday, so it was hard to get going, but somehow, I managed.

:after school, Jonas was a few minutes late to come out and that was because his class was planting seeds in the school garden. he was so excited to tell me about it.

 :bedtime was pretty easy, with all three kids in one bed, plus two adults. turned off the lights and all eyes were fast asleep.

month 24 - two years old

Dear Paloma,

You turned two on Tuesday. We had a little party for you. Family and some friends were here. You were the star of the day and you knew it. When you woke up, daddy and I sang to you. You sat on the bed, listening, enjoying the attention.

***

You are such a smart girl. You say so many words and sentences. You copy your brothers. You are sweet and tough. You are silly and serious, when you need to be.

You have dad wrapped around your finger.  I tell him he better watch out, or we are going to have a spoiled girl on our hands.  "She's just too precious," he says.

You love taking care of your babies (dolls). You are a good mama, carrying them around everywhere, asking them, "you okay?" Worrying if they cry, "oh, baby cwying. It's okay, baby." You wrap them up and put them in their crib. You lay them down with you when we read on the bed. You put them in their stroller. You hold them. You are so nurturing.

You are our little star. You bring a light that shines so bright. You cheer us up if we are sad. You say sorry even when it was someone else's fault. The boys love their 'piece kiss' as Jonas calls you.

I love that you like to dress up. You put on a homemade little mermaid dress, made out of a pillowcase and said, "I princess." I could have just eaten you up right then and there because you were so darn sweet. Little things like that. Or when you are playing with your little plastic dishes and shout, "dinner's ready," and you hand us our make believe food. Dad and I melt.


We love it when you wake up in the morning and walk out with sleepy eyes and say, "I seeping."

And you are almost potty trained.  Almost.  Crossing fingers!

You ask for your favorite movies and books.  You know what you like.

***

When dad brought your cake out with the candles on it, your little face lit up, eyes wide. You sat there and waited for your happy birthday song to end and you blew out your candles, just like we practiced at bedtime, my smart girl.

I love you.

Mom

Accessories

Today

Jonas is always the first to wake up in the morning.

"Mom, is it time to get up?" he asks me. It's dark outside, as I slowly awake from slumber.

"I don't know, just lay down for a few more minutes," I mumble.

He does, I close my eyes hoping it is not morning yet. He wakes me minutes later. I check my phone for the time and begin to rush him to get ready. Sometimes, Jeremiah does the rushing. Sometimes we wake up with plenty of time to spare. Sometimes.

I try my hardest to keep them extra quiet, so that the others don't wake up, but it never works. Paloma and Angus are up and ready to start their day when they hear any darn noise.

And we're off. It's non stop from there.

Making breakfast, cleaning messes, watching, listening, playing, crying, laughing, wiping, chasing, hugging, fighting, kissing, all day. Some days, I can't wait for nap time. Not because I don't want to be around my sweet babes, but just so that I can get a moment of quiet, to clean without having to stop what I'm doing or take a nap myself. Or to just sit and...be.

We drive to pick up Jonas and they fall asleep in the car. I sit and wait. Wait for my other, full-of-life child to get in the car.

At home, they are happy because big brother is home. They get wild. They run around, laugh, say silly things, make requests, of which many I have to say no to. I try to make them calm down. I make them stop fighting. I make them apologize.

I get dinner ready. We sit, we eat, we drink, we talk.

We get homework done in a not-so-constructive way, because Paloma wants to throw all the pencils on the floor and now she is crying because she was told 'NO' and Angus wants to jump on my back while I'm sitting on my chair, while trying to help Jonas.

And somehow the homework gets done. Somehow the kids are fed. Somehow they still have energy, even though the sky is dark and they've played and played.

Angus looks out the window and asks, "When's it gonna be morning again?" Soon, Angus, too soon, I think to myself.

Jonas need's to sleep by eight or his internal alarm clock wants to sleep in. Angus and Paloma fall asleep a little later because they napped.

When everyone is finally sleeping, it's late and I'm exhausted but I push it and stay up a little longer. Then sleep comes and all of a sudden, its still dark out but it's morning again and I'm wishing it wasn't, no, not yet.

"Mom, I think its morning. Is it time to wake up?"

This moment

Two of my loves being sweet together.

Paloma kept jumping and climbing on Jonas before bedtime.

He was trying to stop her, while giggling and smiling.

"Mom, make her stop," he told me, but he was having fun, enjoying the attention.

"Donas, Donas," she kept saying, as she tickled and hugged him.

Hello 2013

The first day of January was supposed to be my first post, but that day has already escaped me. So here I am, writing my first post of the year, on the third day. How typical of me! Always running late or behind or leaving it to the last minute or trying to catch up. Ugh, someday I'll get it together.

2012 was such a difficult year. There was a lot happening, as it should, but geez I hope this year is smoother. Slow, it will not be, as I have learned from previous years and growing up, getting married and having children. The days just fly on by.

At the beginning of 2012, I had a baby, whom is now a talking, running, playing, yelling, very opinionated toddler, with her likes and her dislikes and her "hold" and her roars. I had a quiet little boy, who played on his own and talked of Spider-Man and other superheroes, but who now wants to be on his brothers level. He wants to play all the big kid games and do all the big kid stuff because, as he puts it, "I'm a big boy now." I had another little boy who was learning how to read in kindergarten and is now one of the best readers in his first grade class. From baby to toddler, from toddler to preschooler, from kindergartner to first grader.

And there was a bunch of other stuff, but there is not enough time.

Ill just say, what a year!

I hope 2013 takes it easy on all of us.

Lately

Some nights, when I lie down, ready for sleep, my nana pops into my head. It just happens without me talking or thinking about her. I see her, as my head rests on my pillow, my eyes closed.

I see her in her little apartment, with all her things around her. She smiles. She looks happy, like she did when anyone would visit. I see her leaving the room to watch her novellas and then she comes back during a commercial, just as she always did.

I start to miss her so much. I miss her face, her short hair, her eyes and her voice. It hurts. Then I I feel sad. I wish I would have visited her more. How I wish I could stop by her apartment, to see her trinkets and treasures up. To see her open the door.

Instantly, my sadness fades and then I start to wonder if every time I think of her being happy, maybe she is thinking of me in heaven. That is why she just pops into my head out of the blue. At least that's what I like to think. My nana is thinking of me and I of her.

In my thoughts I never see her suffering, sad, or hurt. Just happy and comfortable...at home.

simply snow

Two days in the snow with three children and a husband has made me see how different each one of my little's are from each other, how good my husband is and how much I can't imagine my life without them. Not that I didn't know all these things already, but all were so pronounced these two days.

The first day was a little rough. It was grey, snowy, cold and cloudy with only a few peaks from the sun.

Silly and bossy

Paloma was not happy with the white foreign-element. It was her first time seeing it, so I expected her to be unsure about it. She was cold and only wanted daddy's arms. I watched the boys sled down the hill and walk back up, over and over, flurries came down, as I sat still with baby in arms, sleeping. I was cold, but that didn't matter, because I could see their faces looking so happy. She woke up and was still unhappy.

Determined and persistent

Jonas loves sledding. He whines and complains before we get there about ALL the clothes he has to wear, when will we get there and why is dad driving so long. But once he's there, he is non-stop, up and down those hills, never tiring, never wanting to leave, with a smile and determination. "I love Mother Nature," he said.

Laid-back and loving

Angus likes it, but I think he wished snow was warm. He lets us bundle him up, but makes a pouty face while we are doing so. He makes us carry him after, say, the third time sledding downhill. He sits and plays with the snow and isn't as crazy about sledding as Jonas. "I want to go home," he said, on many occasion.

The second day, Paloma napped and woke up ready to play. She ended up liking it after all. She played. She ate the snow. She slipped and called out "help me!" She threw herself on it. All while Jonas kept sledding down and walking up, sledding down and walking up and so on. All while Angus would sit and tell me to hit him with the snow. And if he sled down, we'd have to carry him because he would not move if we didn't. Everyone had a good time. Except Jonas said he'd never sled with me again because we wiped out.

Miah made sure everyone was warm and dry. He got the babes all the things they needed for a fun day. He walked up and down, carrying, instructing and protecting. We had a few, "oh no, dad's mad" moments, but all was good in the end. He was THE MAN! They are very lucky children to have a dad who never tires of teaching, showing, but most especially, loving.

On the way home, they played games. Jonas read to his brother and sister. "I read the book three times." I saw Paloma and Angus, looking and listening to their big brother. The sweetest sight to see.

Moments I never want to forget.